a mother's love knows no bounds........

salem's story

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The Day After

2002-06-19 7:30 p.m.

I was in to see the specialiast and they didn't make me wait thank god. We got a much better shot of Salem and she is doing wonderful. Measuring right on target and weighing about a pound. She was moving around and basically seeing her move seem to take a heavy weight off my heart.

The other baby is definitely dead. I guess I was kinda of secretely hoping somehow they were wrong. KWIM? It was SO much smaller than Salem. Dr. Tabor said he thought the baby probably died several weeks ago. That usually (as far along as I am) if it had happened recently I would probably be having problems with preterm labor. Which I am not. My cervix is closed.

I was tested for anti cardiolipins and lupus anitbodies and some other things that can cause repeat MC's especially in 2nd or 3rd trimesters. I will probably have those back tomorrow or Monday. If I am positive for one of those there is treatment.

If not - we may not know what happened. There are definitely different placentas so that isn't an issue.

The baby that died is laying low on my cervix. So I will be checked each week to make sure my cervix stays closed. The Dr. thinks there is everyreason to think Salem will be okay.

Another thing they will watch for is coagualation problems. Sometimes when a baby dies in utero it releases "something" - I can't remember exactly what - into the mother's bloodstream that causes coagulation problems. So those are the main two risks. Also - I am pretty much guaranteed a csection due to the high risk nature and the fact that the baby that died is almost right above my cervix.

So now we are trying to stay hopeful. I can't say I am dealing with it well. Neither is Brian. I want to be happy. I want to feel like I did yesterday before that U/S. Now I am terrified that something will happen to Salem. I just can't bare that thought.

But we are trying to focus on her. Her name means peace and basically that is what we are getting from her.

I will see my local Dr. probably weekly and the maternal fetal specialist at least once a month.

Thanks for your prayers. We still need them. Also I am going to take a few days for myself. Probably no computer, no phone no nothing. Please don't worry.

October 11, 2006 - 2006-10-11
Back from Vacation - 2006-07-18
July 3, 2006 - 2006-07-04
Parenting is Hard - 2006-06-30
Update June 23, 2006 - 2006-06-23