a mother's love knows no bounds........

salem's story

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A Long Journey's End

2003-11-14 12:48 p.m.

Well I spoke to soon and late Tuesday afternoon my repeat beta showed my #'s fell drastically. So it's either a chemical pregnancy or a miscarriage. My progesterone level was EXTREMELY low and that coupled with my AF leads me to believe it was a miscarriage.

We are dealing. How well could be debatable. When I get too sad I go and grab Salem and hug and kiss her and let her kiss me and play and it eases my broken heart.

So this is the end of our TTC/Infertility treatment journey. We won't hinder conception but I won't do another IVF or lesser involved IF treatments. I won't chart, I won't do herbal remedies, and I won't have another lap. It's the end to a long journey and although I know I will miss never nursing or cloth diapering another bum, being pregnant, having an easier pregnancy and all those things. But it's ok in a lot of ways. I am tired emotionally. Infertility is too much stress. Too much pain. I would rather concentrate on what I have.

And I do have so much to be thankful for. I have a wonderfully loving husband and a bright beautiful mommy's girl. Ultimately that's what is important.

And if in the future God wants to heal or bypass my broken reproductive system and give us a child naturally conceived - then heck that will be a major praise report in and of itself.

October 11, 2006 - 2006-10-11
Back from Vacation - 2006-07-18
July 3, 2006 - 2006-07-04
Parenting is Hard - 2006-06-30
Update June 23, 2006 - 2006-06-23