Last night (this morning rather)I climbed into bed and held Brian and told him I LOVED him and needed him. He just snuggled into me. I miss my baby! Sigh! He was in a grumpy mood last night and I made it worse trying to get him to pay attention to me. It's like I see it as a challenge instead of realizing he is really tired.

And I am tired now. Dog tired. And we have to drive 3 hours after work (normally more - but they are meeting us) to get Korie. Boy will this be a long day.

I did my bloodwork today. Took forever and cost $178 but it will be so worth it if this IVF works. I am scared and beginning to think of the reality of non-motherhood if it doesn't work - considering our potential lack of success with adoption. But like Scarlett says - I will think of that tommorrow.

I am starting a stress and welness program (alone not in a group setting) called the Mind and Body Institute of Harvard. I've done it in part but not been real disciplined. So I am going to start this weekend.

I borrowed it from a friend due to it's high success rates in infertility patients. Even though I would seldom admit this in a public setting cause I feel like too many say stress is the problem and to relax - I do think in part that stress can hinder conception. But heck - I still have to O and not kill the DH's sperm!

Anyway - I will probably be journalling a lot about that too.

Well I gotta run and walk up and down the hall before I fall asleep. I lit an aromatherapy candle that is supposed to be energizing. We'll see.