a mother's love knows no bounds........

salem's story

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1st Day - IVF Stimulation

2002-01-13 8:40 p.m.

I did my first shot last night - 4 amps of follistim. I didn't have ice last night (Brian was doing a valet job so I went out there for him to do it). I had a cold soda so I tried to use it to numb the area and it didn't quite work. It burned like crazy and for almost thirty minutes. I had to really choke back the tears cause I don't want to cry and be a baby. I will have to do this 7-10 days. It was better tonight and I really am excited about the possibilities. How could I do this without Brian? He is always so sweet and caring and accomodating even when I am a total you know what.

I have a massive headache today which suprises me since I never really had headaches with follistim before. So I am grumpy and I hate it when I get that way. I know things will get better but it's going to be such a rough day at work tomorrow I just don't know. The good thing is tomorrow afternoon I am going to the chiropractor for an adjustment and accupuncture treatment. That always helps.

Saturday I tried to relive my Barnes and Noble experience at the local Hastings store. (I only get to go to B & N when in the DFW area - usually while waiting on a call from the Dr.) Well it wasn't the same. They did have a seating area but I felt I was intruding. It was loud and the reading area was right beside the children's section and the lighting was harsh and of course there wasn't a latte. B & N just can't be substituted. But I will go back next Thursday and enjoy it!

I am scared of next Wednesday night. I am going to have to give my shot myself. EEK! UGH! I hate the thought. But I am leaving after work to go to a friend in the DFW area so I don't have to get up at 4 am Thursday morning (my appt is at 8). So Brian is going to show me how to mix it on Tuesday and I am going to practice.

***My Daily Word of Healing***

God is the source of all life and healing and he is healing me now.

You know I get challenged a lot, especially by christians, about our decision to seek fertility treatment. One of the most common statements is, "Aren't you playing God?" Well am I playing God if I go to the Dr. for my headaches or my back problems or God forbid if I had cancer? What about Brian's contacts? What really is the difference when you look at them similarily? What makes wanting to be a parent wrong? How can they say it's just not God's plan or it would have happened. How do they know? I forgive people for their insensitive comments but they still hurt.

I give thanks to Dr. Thompson and Holly and Debby and Dr. Seligman and Dr. Le and Dr. Wofford and all those who are assisting in helping heal me through the power of Jesus. It is their skill and knowledge and ability that is helping me but it is God that is the source of the healing whether by supernatural miracle or by medical treatment.

God fills me and makes me. He is my creator and my love and with Him only will I be whole and well despite all the medical professionals do. God energizes me and opens doors in IVF treatment to cut costs and make this all possible. I couldn't have done it on my own.

God is mightier than ovarian dysfunction or hostile mucus or a blocked tube. God is my source of healing know matter how it comes about. God is simply using the Dr.'s.

And I am thankful God. I am thankful for you for healing me right now (Exodus 15:26) and making me whole and making me, a barren woman, joyful with a house full of children (Psalms 113:9).

Thank you Jesus for loving me and dying for me and for interceding for me at the right hand of the father. I could never have made it through all this without your love and courage and strength and the peace that passes all understanding.

October 11, 2006 - 2006-10-11
Back from Vacation - 2006-07-18
July 3, 2006 - 2006-07-04
Parenting is Hard - 2006-06-30
Update June 23, 2006 - 2006-06-23