a mother's love knows no bounds........

salem's story

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I don't know who I am

2001-10-15 10:53 a.m.

Is life passing me by? I feel like I have no real life. Nothing really. I work, I play, I am a daughter a sister a friend and a wife and especially a youth pastor's wife. But I have no clue as to who I am. I almost feel like it's a stupid question. Remember in the Breakfast Club where the principal makes them write a paper on this? That's what I keep thinking of but I know that one word will never encompass who I am.

I asked Brian who I was last night. I don't remember everything but he said - I was his best friend. So I asked him to be more descriptive. He said I was analytical, that I didn't like to be wrong, that I was opinionated and that I knew that certain characteristics about myself are dangerous and so I strive to be opened minded and caring and loving even when I don't want to be.

WOW. I would never have given myself those words. That is WAY beyond my comfort zone. But he's right.

I honestly have no clue as to who I really am. Not totally. I see myself as Brian's wife, my mom's daughter, the help desk lady at work. But who am I?

I know what I am not. A mom. And that's part of what I want to be. I want to be a wife and a mom and a faithful daughter of God.

But I need to find who I am. Who I really am. And I have no clue how to do that. But I think that's a part of what I need to focus my energies on.

I am starting my Harvard Relaxtion Plan too. So there will be entries for that. Hopefully between all this - my thoughts will come together and I can get stabled on the road to emotional healing.

October 11, 2006 - 2006-10-11
Back from Vacation - 2006-07-18
July 3, 2006 - 2006-07-04
Parenting is Hard - 2006-06-30
Update June 23, 2006 - 2006-06-23