Perfect Parenting - This is a great book. By Elizabeth Pantley with a forward by Dr. Bill Sears. Basically it's in a A-Z format and has practical common sense solutions. It's a guidebook and I am really impressed. I may not use every single idea but it also helps me come up with my own ideas. I like this book and 1-2-3 Magic by Thomas Phelan immensely! They seem like they can blend together wonderfully.
It is based on:
Action, not reaction
Thoughtfulness not anger
Knowledge not chance
Common sense not nonsense
To give you an idea here are the Perfect Parenting Keys:
1. Take Charge. You and dad are the boss.
2. Tell, don't ask. The way you phrase your words determines whether your child will see your request as optional or required.
3. When you say it, mean it the first time. For example: If you call out to your child in the back yard to come and the don't don't keep hollering out the back door. Go outside and gently take your child's hand and bring them in doors and say something like, "When I call you, I expect you to come." Usually you only have to prove yourself a few times before this sinks in.
4. Be brief and specific. No huge long speeches for most day to day things are needed.
5. Don't give in to whining, nagging and pressure. Again if you say no mean it. If you're doing your job as a parent there will be times when your decisions don't make your child happy. That is ok. Your most important goal as a parent is not to make your child temporarily happy and give yourself some peace at the grocery store but to raise respectful, capable human beings.
6. Give choices - Ask questions. If a child is frustrated with having to pick up there room give choices. Would you like to put up your toys or your books first? Even offer to help some! This is a perfect example of using a timer when are kids are a tad older. When the timer goes off it's time for bed Salem, etc.
7. Use rules and routines. What is not allowed (like saying shut up or hitting) and what is expected.
8. Build a foundation of love, trust and respect. Watch how you talk to your child. How would you feel if someone told you how angry you make them on a constant basis or screamed at you? Use your words carefully. You can be authoritative without screaming or berating. Use gentle and positive words and body language.
9. Think first act second. These are usually the moments when we scream, hit or threaten. October 11, 2006 - 2006-10-11
Back from Vacation - 2006-07-18
July 3, 2006 - 2006-07-04
Parenting is Hard - 2006-06-30
Update June 23, 2006 - 2006-06-23