a mother's love knows no bounds........

salem's story

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Not What I Expected

2001-12-11 4:06 p.m.

Sometimes I feel like life is passing me by. I go to work I go home. I go to work, I go home. The only difference is that I help Brian with the youth on a regular basis. I only have DH and my mom and sister. And most of my close friends are online. So it feels as if I don't have a life at times. Ugh! That's a terrible feeling.

I have so many things I want to do with my life. First and foremost I want to be a mom. If at all possible a SAHM. I want to nurse and be there when they need me me, not several hours after the fact. It's just what I want. I have an awesome career and I enjoy it but I would give it up in a heartbeat even if it meant a paycut. But the reality is my DH is a pastor. A youth pastor for now. And while he will probably always need to supplement his income he probably won't make enough to live on.

So that saddens me. So now I am eons ahead of myself and trying to figure out a successful home business to make up for my income. Sigh!

I LOVE to scrapbook but never have time. I LOVE to design webpages but don't have time. I LOVE to watch movies and read but don't have time. Sigh! This is not where I expected to be at my age.

Does that mean I am totally unhappy? No. I have a wonderful husband and three wonderful furbabies. I have a great house and a wonderful job and things are good.

They just aren't what I expected.

October 11, 2006 - 2006-10-11
Back from Vacation - 2006-07-18
July 3, 2006 - 2006-07-04
Parenting is Hard - 2006-06-30
Update June 23, 2006 - 2006-06-23