a mother's love knows no bounds........

salem's story

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I need a glass

2001-10-17 9:30 p.m.

I feel empty today. Someone on a board asked if we were optimistic or pessimistic with the following poll:

1. Is the glass is half full

2. Is the glass is half empty

3. Is the glass is dirty

4. Does the glass has a chip in it

I would like to say I am usually an optimistic. For everyone's situation but my own of course. It's SO much easier to say it will be okay, look what God says in Jeremiah 29:11-14 (God's pounding me on the head with that one), look what you have to be thankful.

And actually on a good many days I can remember that. Today my glass is not full. It's not even half empty which would make me think there was some hope. It's down right dirty. Made out of plastic even (I HATE plastic cups). Those cheap kinds you by at the convenience stores.

I bawled like a baby last night when I was alone and realized how much I missed my baby and what I think motherhood will be like.

I went to work today and had an attitude and I am sure it showed in my non-helpful voice. "Help Desk this is Leah may I help you?" I may as well have said, "Why on earth are you calling me you idiot?"

Then I came home and wanted to go to bed. But nooooo I "get" (trying to enterject some positivity here) to pick up some kids for youth. Then I "get" to lead youth. We talk about Jeremiah 29:11-14 and try to focus on some good things that happened this week.

Then I come home and get online and find the post about how full my glass is. Well !#@!@ it's empty, broken, chipped and downright filthy and if I take one more drink out of it I may end up with a cut lip. God what are you trying to show me? I want to be hopeful and optimistic and full of faith. But what can I focus on? I need something to focus on.

Does anyone have a clean glass? Can you pour me some water? I think I need some help here!

October 11, 2006 - 2006-10-11
Back from Vacation - 2006-07-18
July 3, 2006 - 2006-07-04
Parenting is Hard - 2006-06-30
Update June 23, 2006 - 2006-06-23