Brian and I have been at each other's throats lately. We don't fight a lot but when we do...We are both so tired and just plain exhausted but we can't seem to get caught up. Just this morning we had another argument. He tells me he is going to quit working Saturdays at his job cause he is so stressed out. I asked if he prayed about and he said yes and I said we needed to figure out a way to make up the almost $250 that loses a month. He got defensive and mentioned his lawn care and christian valet money. Then I got defensive cause the Chrisitian Valet money is supposed to go to IVF. So I start telling him if we can't do IVF he needs to tell me now and he interrupts me and tells me not to worry about it. And I said don't tell me not to worry. My fears are valid. And thus it started bright and early today.
Last night I tried to get him to spend alone time with me but he was busy and the nights before that I was actually interested in having sex (imagine that) and I couldn't keep his attention for 2 seconds.
I LOVE him more than anything and I do know in my heart that he loves me. And I know we're both exhausted over the past month with Grannie the hospital, school, and the stupid car breaking down yet again and on and on. But still.
Now he is saying that by not working Saturdays he can do more evangelism at church! :/ And that's not stressful or timeconsuming? Has God called him to that? He can't answer that one completely. When will there be time for me in there? It doesn't sound like there will be.
I feel like we're growing apart. Surely it's just a temporal shift. Surely our closeness will mend back?
I miss my lover. I miss my husband. I miss my friend.
Oh and did I mention that I have been off on taking my serzone? You would think I would know better. I missed yesterday completely and 2 doses the the two days before. I hope that doesn't mess me up completely.October 11, 2006 - 2006-10-11
Back from Vacation - 2006-07-18
July 3, 2006 - 2006-07-04
Parenting is Hard - 2006-06-30
Update June 23, 2006 - 2006-06-23