a mother's love knows no bounds........

salem's story

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All I'm Sure Of

2002-06-27 7:49 p.m.

I have a Dr.'s appt update on my pregnancy site from today so I won't repeat myself. Click on over if you want to read that.

The Dr. did say I could start my antidepressant back if I needed too. I am still thinking it through. I took it from August of last year through IVF.

Also my supervisor called today after I emailed her about possibly working half days. She said the university president and my dept VP really are worried about me coming back too soon cause it's a high stress job. So I don't know what to do. It is high stress. They said I could bring work home (some of what can be done at home). I guess I will decide later. It's too much to think about today.

I am also thinking about ordering a doppler again. Brian hates that idea. He thinks it will be too much and too addictive for me at this point. I don't know.

I am sleeping like CRAP. Today after the Dr.'s appt I came home and slept for 4 hours. Dr. T did tell me I could take an over the counter med like unisom but I guess I am scared to do that.

And the grief counseling thing...I think it could be helpful. But just not yet.

Last night at church was really hard. The youth were real subdued around me. The adults were ALL over me and one poor lady who wasn't at church Sunday when the announcement was made brought me clothes for the twins and asked if I had found out the sexes. Brian had to talk to her. I couldn't. One other lady told me God really must have something to teach me through all this. Well I disagree. I don't see this as being from God. I believe in the bible where it says all GOOD and PERFECT things come from heaven above.

There is absolutely nothing good or perfect about this. Yes he allowed it to happen. I will never understand. But I believe it was either an act of something bad just happening or an attack of the devil. If you are not a christian you may not believe that but I do. But I can't even be sure of that.

All I am sure of right now is I am still pregnant. I still have Salem. I still have that.

October 11, 2006 - 2006-10-11
Back from Vacation - 2006-07-18
July 3, 2006 - 2006-07-04
Parenting is Hard - 2006-06-30
Update June 23, 2006 - 2006-06-23